[Nikko] I once went out with a girl
and we were both going to kill ourselves.
It turned out one of us wasn't serious.
[heavy breathing]
Oh, man, look at her.
She's beautiful.
That is one fit bird.
Can't believe we're going to see one.
From Franco, yeah?
Err, no, Gary Cooper got it from McGee.
Okay.
As soon as she's in, I'm out.
[soft music playing]
[priest] Heavenly Father,
and your son, Jesus Christ,
you have given us a true faith and a sure hope.
Help us to believe in the communion of saints,
of the forgiveness of sins,
and the resurrection to eternal life
through your dear son, Jesus Christ, our Lord.
Oh, gracious God,
enable us to listen lovingly to your word.
May we console each other
with the message you proclaim.
So, finding light in darkness
and faith in the midst of doubt
through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
[exhales] Okay. Let's go.
Are you sure you want to do this?
Yeah. Why?
You know, she was your mum.
You heard the man. Let's go.
-Let's do it. -Show me that picture.
We're coming, baby.
[tires squealing]
[upbeat pop music playing]
What's up with my heart when it skips a beat?
Skips a beat
Can't feel no pavement right under my feet
Under my feet
Up in my lonely room Wah-ooh
When I'm dreaming of you Wah-ooh
Oh, what can I do? Wah-ooh
I still need you Wah-ooh
But, I don't want you now
[Nikko] All birders keep lists.
British lists, country lists.
Birds fed from the hand lists.
My own party piece
was a coot on the end of a banana.
200 and you lose beginner status.
300 and there's a few rarities.
400 and, well,
I doubt you'd find many of us over 400.
We've been set up, boys.
Gary Cooper wouldn't do that.
Gary Cooper?
Gary Cooper, the guy
that Bish stole the bins off in the Orkneys?
Fuck off. I found them.
Yeah, round his neck.
Fuck's sake. Fuck. Fuck!
Five hours, boys.
For fuck's sake.
[man on radio] So, top temperatures
could reach nine or ten degrees,
but, with the wind, it could feel a bit
colder out there. So, if you're outside...
Fucking hell, what was that?
Stop, stop, stop!
[indistinct shouting]
-You got it? -Yeah.
[Bish] American Kestrel.
[laughing]
Loser.
[man] We want to be sure.
Just because I don't have expensive books
doesn't mean you know more than me.
American Kestrel, only two ever seen in the UK!
[ecstatic shriek]
Get in there!
[cheering and laughter]
Whoo!
Fuck!
Oh, my God.
Whoo.
[laughing]
Oh, my God.
[Nikko] Joke is, soon as a bird goes on your list,
it becomes worthless.
[soft music playing]
Hi.
We thought you weren't
even going to turn up to the funeral,
and then you ran off without saying anything.
I needed to be on my own.
I don't think it's a good idea
for you to be here right now.
You don't go near your sister.
That's the rule.
Can we talk?
He's not going to apologize, Elaine.
I told you that.
Being you give a headache?
T'wasn't for her you'd be in prison.
Prison or, having me sectioned.
Was that a tough call for you, Mike, was it?
[Mike] You can't walk in
and expect us to let you to stay.
Mum left this place to me and Elaine.
Alright?
No, I'm too tired.
Just let him stay if he wants.
[door closing]
Welcome home.
[distant siren wailing]
What's going on?
Looking for a bird.
A white-crowned sparrow.
What are you going to do, kill it?
[chuckling] No.
We just want to look at it.
[boy] Why?
It's what we do.
What's the point?
There is no point.
[chuckles]
[Bish] Alright, mate?
Hey! You took your time.
-Hi, Cameron. -Hello.
You alright, mate? [cough, sniff]
Looks like every twat
and their brother's going to come here today, eh?
Let's just hope Gary Cooper shows.
So, I can insert these bins in his ass
for sending us up that mountain.
I'm going to insert this in his ass
for sending us up that mountain.
[Bish] Fancy a coffee?
Yeah.
Ah, I think I've left my wallet
in the car, man.
Do you, err, fancy coming with us?
[coins jingling] Yeah, alright.
Call me if it turns up, yeah?
Yeah.
Think birdie will show?
Don't know.
You sure about that one?
I like this.
Long life, right?
No, it's to ward off evil spirits.
Come here, pal.
You shouldn't get your coffee there.
Pardon me?
They don't buy from free traders.
Well, no one else round here
does grande mocha frappe
orange syrup cappuccino with extra fucking froth,
thank you very much.
So, the free traders can kiss my Scottish cock.
Nice.
Cameron needs you.
What?
He wants a word with you.
About what?
[Bish] Birds, I don't know.
[cough]
Yeah, Cameron?
Err, yeah, what's the difference
between a white- throated sparrow
and a white-crested sparrow?
A white-throated sparrow has a white throat.
[Cameron] Yeah.
Um, yeah.
[sighs]
You again.
What are you drawing?
Ibis. Where'd you see that?
Venezuela.
What were you doing there?
I went to find myself.
-Did you? -Not really.
But, I didn't look that hard.
You can make money
out of drawings like that.
How much?
First one's free.
So, what are you up to now then?
Going to my meeting.
What sort of meeting?
Protect The Badger.
[laughing] Don't laugh.
Badgers have been in this country
for thousands of years.
What have they ever done to us?
Yeah, I was told
that you should never look one in the eye.
Right.
Bye, then.
Wait a sec. What if...
what if I want to see you again?
[chuckles]
[upbeat music playing]
[man] Here's what I have
to show for my 22 years:
an intimate knowledge of cleaning products
and the beginning of housemaid's knee.
We've all got a bit of the obsessive compulsive in us.
Just that I let mine out.
A godsend in this job.
# Oh, oh, oh, oh
# I see you're Climbing a tree
# And I know-oh-oh
# That it's easier To be up high
# In the air Than the ground #
[man] I go four times
the speed of your average chap,
so there's always time to kill.
I've got you.
[shouting]
[man] Murderers!
[siren blaring]
[Bish] Why do you want
to see falcons?
Not like we haven't ticked them,
a million years ago.
You didn't have to come.
But, you're the Zen master twitcher.
Where you go, we follow.
We don't want to miss a thing.
Doesn't have to be about a tick.
What do you mean?
Say someone saw a jackdaw
in Richmond Park. You wouldn't give a fuck.
But, say someone saw it in wetlands.
You'd want to look?
Yeah.
What, so a list of birds in non-typical environments?
A contextual tick?
I quite like that.
[shouting] [beeping]
[bell chimes]
[siren blaring]
What?
-Whoa! -Bloody hell!
-Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! -Whoo!
[upbeat electronic music playing]
[cheering]
Whoo!
Stay where you are.
Come on, back here!
[laughing]
Don't be stupid, now.
[whistles]
Control from four-five...
[woman on radio] Four-five from control.
Uh, four-five, we've got them.
Four-five, we've got them.
Fifth floor.
[stifled laugh]
[man] Oi!
-Whoo-ooh! -[shrieking]
[whooping]
Whoo-oo-oo-oo!
Whoo!
Wait, wait, wait, wait...
Come on.
[shouting, booing]
You again, huh?
Yeah. Me.
I can't believe it.
I thought we had a deal.
You shouldn't have just left me.
I'd have come back.
You needed to be patient.
That's not even a proper incision,
that's a bloody poser's cut.
[screaming]
Fuck off.
I got interrupted.
I must be the only bloke who tried to kill himself
and in the process nearly killed his sister.
What happened?
[Nikko] She... came in
and I was doing it and...
tried to stop me and...
somehow I managed to hit her brachial artery.
I came to see you.
They wouldn't let me in.
Didn't they tell you?
Why did you come?
Because I missed you.
You missed me so much
you went off to South America?
I didn't really have much
of a choice, did I?
For some reason they thought
we were a bad influence on each other.
Yeah. I wonder why.
It wasn't just because of me, was it?
Don't be stupid.
It felt like it was my fault.
So, you're still sticking to your plan then, huh?
Tick 500 birds and then...
[clicking tongue]
That's genius.
Well, that's me.
I'm a genius.
So, how many you on now, bird boy?
Hmm?
You really want to know?
Mmm-hmm.
498.
Fuck.
Oh well.
Better find you two more then, huh?
What about you?
What about me?
Are you still going to...?
Of course I'm not.
It was just a phase.
Right.
So, how many people have you slept with
since I split us up?
I don't know.
I'd have to think about it.
Go on then.
None.
Ask me how many I have.
No.
Do you want to hear about Venezuela?
Not really.
I forgot your idea of living
is hanging out with birdwatchers.
I've got to get off.
-Okay. -I'm this way.
Maybe see you again.
-Yeah, maybe. -Yeah?
Alright.
A man, he told me
2003
When preaching from a carved-out wooden pulpit
That I could be saved by his deity
His puckered mouth
His eyes screwed up, he knew it
Morning.
-Oh! -[laughing]
Nikko, what the hell do you think you're doing?
Not much. What are you doing?
Thanks.
This is Linda.
She's selling the house for us.
Hello, Linda.
Calm down, Mike, anyone would think
you've not seen an estate agent before.
Don't you have some teeth to pull?
Mike, that's what he wants.
What?
[laughs]
Well, my next client must be just...
Oh, look, Linda, I'm really sorry.
Linda, I'm really sorry.
My next appointment is probably waiting,
so, um...
If you're looking to buy after you sell,
-[Nikko] Mmm-hmm. -do give me a call,
we'll sort something out.
Okey-dokey.
Um... lovely place.
-Lovely. -Thank you.
[door closing] She was nice.
[doorbell ringing]
Hiya, I'm Tamara from W8 Cleaning Agency.
We're just doing a few spot checks.
Just a few yes and no's really,
-hope you don't mind. -No.
Err, did your cleaner arrive on time?
[woman 1] Yes, he did.
[woman 2] Does he come appropriately dressed?
[woman 1] Yes.
Um, does she ever
use profanities in front of you?
[woman 1] I don't think so.
Has he, um, ever made a pass at you
or anyone else in your family?
Not your husband, or your children or, anyone?
Excuse me?
You know, can I have a quick word,
Thanks.
Shoo...
So, what do you use for limescale?
Hmm, Lime-A-Way.
And what do you use for self-harm?
-Don't do it anymore. -When you did?
Cook's knife. Non-serrated.
Not razor blades?
Razors are for pussies.
So, how come you've stopped?
Well, nothing...
lasts...
forever.
So, you have changed.
Good for you.
Um, I've got ammonia on my hands.
Keep them to yourself.
[piano music playing]
-See you next week. -See you next week.
Cheers.
You again.
[chuckling]
So, did they make you wear orange pajamas in the loony bin?
Don't call it that.
What was it like?
What's going on?
Why?
Do you want to be my boyfriend again, hmm?
If you want to go out, then ask me.
But, if you do,
we'll be having some boundaries this time.
Say we go out, and then...
for whatever reason I decide not to go out with you anymore,
you can't try and kill yourself again, okay?
Do you think you can do that?
Yeah, okay.
I'll be wanting some wooing.
Girls need romance,
so you'd better take me somewhere nice.
I'll take you somewhere nice.
[birds chirping]
This a fucking joke?
You might like it.
Come on.
So, what do we do now?
We walk around.
Look for birds.
Get cold.
Being near water's good for depression.
I'm not depressed.
Alright, no one said you were.
So, shouldn't we be, like, um,
ticking things off lists or, something?
Five points if you spot socks and sandals,
ten if you see a kid being slapped.
Alrighty.
Black-tailed godwit, peregrine sandpipers...
[giggling]
-What? -[laughing]
-Nothing. -Don't be like that.
Come on. If you get into it you might enjoy it.
Sorry, Dad.
Like being with a spoilt child.
You can slap me if you want.
Nikko.
What?
Hey.
-What? -Can I have a kiss?
Show me your world.
Come with me.
-Pfft, Jesus, it's a bit whiffy. -Shh.
[whispering] Yeah, okay.
Okay, just on the edge of the marsh.
Keep it still.
Pair of green sandpipers.
[whispering] Oh, yeah.
[Nikko] Yeah.
Cute.
I'm just not sure
if I can quite as excited by it...
Keep watching, keep watching.
I want to be excited.
Mm...
[sighing]
[Nikko] Solitary things, they are.
It's quite rare to see them in a pair.
Keep watching.
[sighs] I'm watching.
Probably just come in from somewhere cold.
Ah...
Shh.
Can you see the dark back? [groans]
Beautiful head and breast.
Mm...
You can't quite see,
but, they've got pale underparts.
[panting]
They're not breeding adults though.
They're far too immature.
Oh...
[chuckles]
[stifled laughter]
[clearing throat]
Good while it lasted though, wasn't it?
[laughs]
I'm falling off!
So...
I got my bonus.
Oh, right. Cool.
[Cameron] Yeah, I got it ages ago.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I was meant to cash my check
a few months ago, but, I forgot.
I just put it in a drawer.
Oh, no.
He's brought Yoko.
-Alright? -Hi.
So, this is your special place, Bish?
It's the best cafe in London.
Alright?
[Nikko] Do you want something to eat?
Um, yeah.
What's good, mate?
Err, bacon sanies,
sausage and beans,
you get can an extra black pudding for 60p.
Hmm, you know what? I'll be alright.
I'm vegan.
Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot.
Um...
[in Polish]
Can I just have a donut
and a cappuccino please?
Yeah, a cup of tea please.
[woman] I'll just have a glass of water, please.
[Cameron] Bish,
are you learning to speak Polish?
Yeah, well... well, yeah.
I'm trying to broaden my horizons.
Cool.
Stevie's just been in Venezuela.
You do know that donuts
are, like, loaded with animal fat?
Yeah.
[Bish] What is it with you lot?
She must think
every time someone buys a bag of crisps,
a kangaroo fucking dies.
Oh, yeah, that's it exactly.
Look, you can go on all the marches you like,
nothing's ever going to change.
Fine, let's all just sit here
and eat processed meat until our colons rot.
Mm! Yummy.
Um, we did have a message about Owen Whittle.
-What? -He's...
going around Epping Forest or, something.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Who's Owen Whittle?
He steals rare eggs out of nests.
He's an egg collector.
The twitcher's biggest enemy.
It's been illegal since the '60s,
but, some people still do it.
Well, you should do something.
There's no point.
Well, of course there's a point.
If he steals all the eggs,
there won't be any birds left for you to see, will there?
Duh.
Well, it's late And I can tell
That the wind Is blowing my way
It's just my luck I'm on the inside
And my fate hangs In the balance
I believe in the breeze, I can tell
That you've got to Put your spinnaker up
Before you hoist The main sail
[indistinct]
[Nikko whispering] Can you believe we found him?
[Cameron] You know,
I think we should go back.
[Stevie] What if they're ready to hatch?
[Nikko] Embryo solvent.
He injects the eggs with it.
-Yeah. I know. -What?
Look at him climb.
He's like a fucking squirrel.
Stevie, Stevie, Stevie, what are you doing?
[whispering] Hey, Stevie! Stevie! Psss! Oi!
It's alright,
he doesn't know her, it doesn't matter.
What the fuck are you doing?
None of your business. Move on, girly.
[Owen] You gonna throw a rock at me?
[Stevie] Yeah, actually, I am.
Fucking hell.
[Stevie] Feel good, huh?
Fucking wanker!
Don't make me come down there.
I want you to come down.
-You wouldn't dare. -Oh, yeah?
-You fucking moron. -Don't be stu...
-Ah! -[screaming]
[groaning] [laughing]
Oh, you big fucking man!
-You big fucking man! -Get off me!
Killing innocent creatures!
Don't let me fucking hit you!
-Oi, get her off me! -Alright, Owen?
Stevie, fancy seeing you here.
Where do you get your information, eh?
Tell us and we'll let you down.
[Nikko] Eh? Come on, man.
What are you doing out here then?
Just hanging out?
Alright, Owen?
Fuck! You fuck!
[Bish] Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Come on, leave it.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Eh?
-What are you doing? -Oi, oi!
Told you! She's a nutter.
Always was, always fucking will be.
Why don't we just calm down?
Shut up, bitch, or you're next!
Right.
Oi, oi, oi, oi!
[Bish] Happy now, eh?
Happy now?
Hey, why don't you just fuck off, eh, Skippy?
Don't fucking speak like that.
Oh, right, I see.
I see, like that then, is it? Hey?
Managed to worm her way back in.
I don't get you lot.
Claim to be into birds,
but, not enough to do anything to save them.
Okay, bye. See ya.
-Shut up, mate. -Bye!
Hey, you're so much better off without that.
Stevie.
[soft music playing]
[Nikko] She'll never talk about Australia.
It's like it never existed.
[percussive music playing]
[woman] Girls!
[Children] We are not crazy
We are not afraid Of you grown-ups
We'll go ask the queen Of this kingdom
If you won't Let us play
With screws And hammers
Ah!
[woman] Boys!
[Children] # We are not shady
[laughter]
# We are not afraid Of you adults
# We'll go talk to the King of this kingdom
# If you won't let us Play with dolls #
[piano music playing]
[moaning, panting]
Would you like me to do the honors?
Hmm? Hmm?
Yeah.
But, you'll need a bigger blade.
Unless you just want to sever
my recurrent laryngeal nerve.
In which case,
I'll never fucking speak to you again.
[chuckling] No, literally.
[giggling]
[whispering] If you had to do it
right now,
right this second...
how would you do it?
Nitrous oxide. [tongue clicking]
-Quickly and easy. -Quickly and easy.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, yeah.
Anything's better than cutting.
[gas hissing]
[inhalation]
[high-pitched voice] And if you're going to commit suicide,
don't do it with helium!
That would be really stupid.
-Aaah! -Why would you kill yourself with helium?
[laughing]
How did you know
that was helium?
I didn't.
So, why did you do it then?
Because you did.
So, if I jumped out of that window,
you'd go and do it too, would you?
[sighs]
I'd like you to go, please.
What?
Will you just go when I ask you to, please?
I give you a glass,
you take the whole fucking bottle.
[Bish] She's a big ball of wrong. End of.
And don't think her turning up
on the green that day was a coincidence.
She wanted to see if I was alright.
Heard mum had died. Fucking hell.
Anyway, why does it matter?
Because she makes you crazy.
Where did you meet her anyway,
slashmywrists.com?
Look, we all like a lively bird,
but, she's cracked.
Don't know what you're talking.
I know people like her.
People who say the world doesn't understand me
because I'm so fucking special.
So, let's jump off this bridge together.
And then bozo jumps off,
and she's left there standing, saying,
"Ho-fucking-hum, I think I've changed my mind."
She's a classic head-fuck, prick-tease,
screw-with-your-life bipolar whack-job.
Is that your appraisal, doctor?
-Yeah. -Right.
-Thank you. -[honking]
And why aren't you taking your medication?
Because it turned me into a fucking zombie.
Zombie's better than five kinds of crazy,
believe you me!
Look, look,
if you stay with her,
it's only going to go one way.
That's south of the fucking river.
Alright, mate, I've got it.
Okay?
I've got it.
It's a little messed up round here
# Round here, round here...
[Bish] Grasshopper warbler's got a scalloped undertail.
But, the tips are pale.
Well, you won't see one after August.
September, absolute latest.
Um, what are you talking about?
Global warming, Bish.
Yeah? I reckon
you'd be able to see one in October.
Oh, no. The Brinkerhoffs.
Oh, how long have those Dutch prats
been working on that--
If they get there before us
and spook the bird...
Um, oh, Bish, don't.
Oi! Oh, oh!
Your win...
You go near that shrike before us
and I'll rip your fucking heads off
and piss down the hole!
[Nikko] What did they say?
I don't think it was them.
[laughing]
You just ruined someone's day.
Come on, Cameron,
-let's have a massage. -Don't touch me.
Just a cheeky massage.
[laughing]
[Bish] Come on, chill out, relax man.
[cellphone buzzing]
Hello?
-Hi, it's me. -Yeah, I know.
What you doing?
Uh, I'm working.
You're working?
Roger's given me a few days.
[Nikko] Roger.
Yeah, I bet he did.
Look, I can't talk. What do you want?
I want to see you later.
[Stevie] Just because
we go bird-watching and we fuck
doesn't mean you can move in
and take over my life, alright?
I told you, I need boundaries.
Yes, whatever.
Forget it.
Gary Cooper.
Alright, mate?
Oh, here we go again.
Gary!
Oi!
[doors banging]
-Alright, mate? -Alright, Nikko?
You sent us up an empty mountain.
What you doing lying?
-No, I ain't. -Five hours we waited!
Huh? Five fucking hours!
[Bish] Whoa! What you doing, man?
What you doing?
-He sent us up-- -Chill! Chill!
Come on, man.
Alright there, Gal?
How's it going, mate?
-Bish. -Found these up in the Orkneys.
Think you might have dropped them, mate.
Come here.
[lively chatter]
[sighs]
[panting]
[upbeat electronic music playing]
[Bish] The place is so fucked up, man.
[Nikko] If I can refer you to our list
"Why Farmers Are The Biggest Assholes Of All".
They grow things no one really wants
and then expect us to pay them for doing it.
Feed animals their own species
till they mutate weird illnesses
and then blame everyone else.
Humph.
[electronic music playing]
Come on, pal.
[man] Do you mind me asking where you're going?
The woods.
It's private.
It's a public footpath.
It's on the map.
Any further than this, you'll be trespassing.
You don't want to be mistaken for a deer, do you?
Or, a poacher.
You're the poachers.
Listen, lads, do yourselves a favor
and piss off back to London.
Right.
[coughs] Inbreds.
Gimme six.
Hey. Let's not get too cocky, eh?
[dripping]
Come on.
No, I'm going to see the bird.
I'm going to see that bird.
It's not worth it.
Yes, it is.
We'll go that...
come on round this way.
Please. Come on.
Fuck, I'm out of here, brother.
Bish.
Cameron?
Cameron.
Fuck it.
See ya!
Fuckers.
I'm going to fucking see that bird.
[soft music playing]
[Nikko] Most buzzards fly with wingbeats.
Kill the rabbit. Kill the rabbit.
Honeys are too cool for that.
They're like aerial lounge lizards,
wings loose and louche,
like they're only hunting
'cause it's the servant's day off.
[Leaves rustling, wingbeats]
[buzzard screeching]
[wingbeats]
You little fucker!
-Get him! -Come here!
[ominous music playing]
Come here, you little fucker!
[panting]
-Oof! -[groans]
You don't listen, do you?
-Little prick! -[thuds]
You don't know who you're messing with.
You'll have to think about it now.
[grunting]
[birds chirping]
Fuckers.
[air hissing]
Little thief.
You thieving bastard.
[ominous music playing]
I'm going to fuck your tires.
Fuck your tires up.
[gunshot]
[suspenseful music playing]
[panting]
[laughing]
[hysterical cackles]
[spitting]
[cellphone ringing]
Hello?
Hi.
# I'm going out tonight
# I don't know If I'll be alright
# Everyone wants To hurt me
# Baby, danger In the city
# I have to carry A knife
[pounding on door]
# Because there's people threatening my life
# I can't dress just the way I want
# I'm being chased By the national hunt
# Concrete jungle
# Animals are after me... #
What do you want?
To make sure you're okay.
Is he your boyfriend again?
No.
You are.
God, what happened?
I fell out of a tree.
Were you with the wankers?
No.
I was on my own.
Where?
Wetlands.
Will you take me there again?
Yeah.
[slow exhalation]
[whispering] Thank you for coming over.
[slow music playing]
[giggles]
[door closing]
[door opening]
What's she doing here?
Uh, she has got a name.
Well, this explains everything.
Oh!
Oh, well have a good look.
You know you want to.
You said you'd keep away from him.
We're getting married.
I would like you to be best man, Mike.
Don't lose the ring, yeah?
I want to talk to my brother.
He tells me everything.
-Bye, Mike. -[door closing]
Hey.
[cellphone buzzing]
[phone beeping]
Stupid fucking bastard.
What the fuck are you looking at?
She's not normal,
and when you're with her nor are you.
Compared to what?
You?
You met on a suicide website.
So, what?
We did it for a reason.
To stop you being ruined by people like her.
-Ruined? -[door closing]
You can't stay here.
We've sold the house.
Stevie.
What are you doing?
Huh?
What are you doing?
You'd better call Bish.
Why?
You lied to me, Nikko.
About what?
Huh?
Where you going?
[unintelligible]
I need some more onions here.
[knocking on door]
What's going on with your face?
Fucking tripped up in the woods, didn't I?
Oh, right.
So, did you hear about Owen Whittle then?
They found his body in his car
next to where the honey was.
Somebody shot him.
[gunshot]
[panting]
Well?
Must have been the poachers.
Karma or, what, huh?
One cock kills another.
Fucking hell.
[knocking at door]
Mr. Nicholson?
Are you from removals?
May I come in?
Are you going somewhere?
[door closing]
[Nikko] It's mum's stuff.
Oh, is she moving house?
Sort of moved already.
She's dead.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Who are you?
Well, I feel terrible now, asking you this
with your mum and...
you know, bad time.
But, we've been talking to a few twitchers.
Suppose you've heard about Owen Whittle.
Yeah.
Well, how did you hear about him?
Hasn't been in the press yet.
If you go on the Internet it's on the, um...
it's on the birding websites.
Right.
Well, I suppose
you know that he was an egg collector.
We think he might have been targeted
by someone who didn't like what he did.
Like a twitching fundamentalist?
Is that what you think I am?
We were talking to a few people
and your name came up.
They said that
you were one of the most dedicated.
So, I'm on a list?
I used to do a bit of birding myself.
When I was a kid.
Even collected eggs for a bit.
Don't tell anyone.
You don't know who might have
targeted Whittle... or anything?
Hmm, not really.
Well, if you think of someone,
or you hear anything,
maybe you could give me a call.
Mm-hmm.
[suspenseful music playing]
[buzzer buzzing]
Stevie!
[rapid buzzing]
Stevie!
It's me!
[Nikko] Why do people assume
life is a good thing?
If it works for you, great.
But, bailing out is not the biggest tragedy.
You know what the biggest tragedy is?
It's just going... through... the motions.
[Nikko] There are two main
categories of suicides:
the ones that talk about it,
the cry-for-helpers,
and the ones that just do it,
the no-hopers.
[rock music playing]
You lost your mind
# Why don't you pick it Off the floor?
# You lost your mind
# Why don't you pick it Off the floor?
# You lost your mind
# Why don't you pick it Off the floor?
# You lost your mind
# Why don't you pick it Off the floor?
# 'Cause you don't need A man of the house
# And you don't need The tongue in your mouth
# You're here to dance So, get off the floor
# 'Cause you don't need Your head anymore
# You don't need Your head. Lose it!
# You don't need Your head... #
Come o-o-o-on!
# Lose it!
[tires screeching]
Alright, tosser?
You're looking good.
Where'd you nick it?
[chuckling] That's nice, isn't it?
Bought it with my bonus.
Thought it might make me happy.
-It doesn't. -So, he gave it to me.
Bish is taking it to Poland.
Um, if you drink that,
you won't be able to drive back.
Hey, it's not yours anymore.
-[locks beeping] -Right.
Let's go and tick a crested lark.
You really going to Poland?
Yeah.
The restaurant's accused me
of stealing a booze delivery and trying to...
trying to sell it to a club.
Bish on the run.
What a surprise.
It's actually got more to do
with this girl I've started seeing.
You know, the Polish chick
from the cafe.
Good for you, mate.
She's a bit young, mind.
How young?
17.
Just.
And she's, um...
she's a bit pregnant.
So...
we're celebrating then?
[cork pops]
Cheers.
I shot Owen Whittle.
I didn't mean to. The gun...
just went off.
[birds chirping]
[grunts]
Think I might head off.
Yeah, I might make a move too.
Sorry...
you didn't get your 500.
Another day, yeah?
[soft piano music playing]
[Nikko] I can't go to prison.
I couldn't do years.
Three months in that place...
nearly did me in.
Mind telling me
what you were doing in there?
Cleaning the house.
I work as a cleaner.
Check if you want.
Thanks.
Have you got a mobile phone?
No.
Can I go?
Why not?
[dramatic piano music playing]
Hi.
I need to tell you something.
I killed someone.
[Stevie] I know.
You wrote it in your book.
[Nikko] I suppose I wasn't
very good at life, was I?
What am I going to do?
There's only one thing left to do.
You know this is just me.
I want this to be just me.
You sure you know what you're doing?
Yeah.
After this, there's no going back.
It's going to be okay, isn't it?
Yes.
I should write a note.
No, a confession.
It's taken care of.
Thank you.
[gulping]
[shaky breathing]
-[sniffles] -Okay, now.
[gentle piano music playing]
[wingbeats]
[heartbeat]
[heartbeat slowing, stopping]
Stevie.
[panicked sobs]
Help!
Stevie!
[mixed low chatter]
[telephone ringing]
Thanks, Colin.
[door closing]
She really loved you, didn't she?
My old man killed himself.
I was quite young,
so I thought it was something I'd done.
For years it's haunted me now.
There was just something
in him we could never get to.
Design fault.
He was always going to do it.
And I'm sorry to say...
that was Stevie.
I don't think that's you.
How do you know?
Because you're passionate.
About Stevie.
About birds.
She left this on the table.
[Stevie] Some things are worth
giving everything for.
Rare and fragile creatures hanging by the tiniest of threads,
on their very last chance.
Once they're gone, they can never come back.
Nobody will be able
to appreciate their uniqueness ever again.
She says she was in the Highland Woods on the 20th.
She's even mentions the time of Whittle's death,
which is something we never released.
And according to Stevie,
she had your mobile phone with her.
Is that why you said you didn't have one?
Because you thought you could protect her?
I've dealt with these Animal Rights lot.
I know what they're capable of.
I saw the pelicans she drew.
[Sniffling]
Bird of sacrifice.
[sobbing]
The only other creature
that's willing to kill itself to save others.
I can still charge you.
As an accomplice.
Obstructing the investigation,
and even with your record,
the implications could be pretty long term.
Not everyone gets a second chance,
but, if they do,
it's probably worth taking, wouldn't you say?
So, say I give you one.
-Would you take it? -[sobbing]
Or, would you fuck it up?
I'd take it.
[sniffling]
Once only offer.
No exchanges, no refunds,
and no throwing it away once you get it.
[mournful music playing]
[deep breaths, sighs]
[Nikko] I once went out with this girl.
We were both going to kill ourselves,
but, it turned out
one of us wasn't serious.
# I'd like to see you Every day
# But, that's not the way
# Too much of something Is bad enough
# Found out today
# You know I find it hard
# To find the things I want to say
# I'm like a kid Who knows
# Exactly what he wants For his birthday
# Oh, happy day
# Oh, happy day today Oh, happy day
# I will never know I will never know
# Oh, happy day today Oh, happy day
# I will never know I will never know
# I'd like to see you Every day
# But, that's not the way
# Too much of something Is bad enough
# Found out today
# You know I find it hard
# To find the things I want to say
# I'm like a kid Who knows
# Exactly what he wants For his birthday
# Oh, happy day
# Oh, happy day today Oh, happy day
# I will never know I will never know
# Oh, happy day today Oh, happy day
# I will never know I will never know
# Ooh-h-h-h-h
Oh, happy day
# Oh, happy day
# Oh, happy day today Oh, happy day
# I will never know I will never know
# Oh, happy day today Oh, happy day
# I will never know I will never know
# Oh, happy day today Oh, happy day
# I will never know I will never know
# Oh, happy day today Oh, happy day
# I will never know I will never know
# Oh, happy day
# Oh, happy day #